Bad Boy (The All American Boy Series) by K.L. Humphreys

Author:K.L. Humphreys [Humphreys, K.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-02-04T00:00:00+00:00

Briar

I look at the man I love and see the worry in his eyes. He’s been open and honest with me this evening and I honestly didn’t think he would, I thought he would have kept me at arm’s length. Now it’s my turn.

I pull in a steadying breath, wishing my tears would stay at bay, but it’s as though I’ve opened the floodgates and they’re unstoppable. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I tried my hardest to keep it hidden.”

“What, Bri?” His voice is tight.

“When you left, I was inconsolable.” I begin, hating putting myself back in these memories. “Mom was worried, I wouldn’t leave the house, I just cried.”

“Fuck.” The word is clipped.

“Then mom died.” The tears fall harder and faster. “Bran was at college and I did everything I could to show him that I was okay.” I give him a small smile. “He went back after a lot of encouragement.”

Sax’s eyes flash with anger. “You were alone?”

I nod, “I needed it that way, I was dying inside, Sax, I gave up and I couldn’t let him see that. So I made sure he left.”

“What?” It’s whispered but full of so much anguish that it makes me flinch. “Gave up?”

I nod, “I couldn’t eat, all I did was throw up. I just laid in bed all day.”

“Fuck!” He growls getting to his feet and he starts pacing.

“I was so weak, so fucking weak,” I confess. “I just ended up not wanting to continue. I thought it would be better if I wasn’t here.”

He stalks toward me, his hands cupping my cheeks, “Don’t you ever fucking say that. Even when I wasn’t here, you were all I thought of. You’re all I think of. I fucking love you.”

“I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I’m not strong, Sax, I’m really not.”

His grip on my face tightens. “You are, you’re here. And, baby, when you’re not, I’ll be strong enough for the two of us.”

I nod, my throat tightening at his words. “Bran came home a couple of weeks after mom’s funeral, I was in such a bad way, I had lost a lot of weight. Too much.”

“What happened?”

“I ended up in the hospital, I discharged myself. I couldn’t stay there. Not after mom.” I hated spending an hour there, just being there was making me worse. “I came home and Brandon wouldn’t leave. He stayed with me. He made sure that I got better.”

He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. “God, I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I still have some days that are really tough. Brandon helped me get stronger physically and then I started seeing a counselor, it’s taken a long time to get to where I am. There are still some days that I struggle.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Bri. I swear to fuck, I’m not, I won’t leave you again,” he promises me.

“You can’t say that, Sax. What’s going to happen when your demons come back?” It’s what I’m worried about, if he’s unable to fight them anymore and he runs.

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